Wednesday, July 27, 2011

March 28th, 2011 - Everytime I think I've got a handle on this...

Just got back from having my stitches taken out. It didn't hurt, of which I was relieved, but I did get some more alarming news from pathology. Apparently when a mole/tumor/skin thing goes down into the skin more than 1 cm, the doctor gets concerned. Mine went down 3.8 cm. My doctor (the dermatologist) said because of how far down it goes, she wants to treat my cancer aggresively. She answered some questions I had and told me the surgeon will definately put me out for the surgery. That makes me happy on one hand, but I've never been put to sleep before, so I'm hella nervous. Plus they'll do the lymph node biopsy while I'm asleep...yay. She showed me the size of the area they will be removing and it's pretty big, bigger than a silver dollar, a little smaller than a sand dollar. **Gulp** Then she talked about why she's sending me to the oncologist and it's because of the depth of the cancer. She said they could decide to treat me with Interferon, or Radiation, and also there's a new drug at the Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa that they can try and get me on. That's all assuming the cancer is in my lymph nodes, which I hope to god it isn't.

So... a body blow for sure. To my credit I didn't cry, just got really contemplative, until I got home and found a letter from the Health Center. They are my primary doctor, and apparently after years of being a patient, they are terminating me for "non compliance with treatment". I have no freaking clue what they're talking about. Deni got pissed and call them, and they wouldn't give either of us any info.

Let's not forget these are the same people who blew me off the first two times I showed them my mole last YEAR. Now suddenly they're dropping me the week after I got diagnosed with cancer? Way to go, thanks for that.

Karma's a bitch and I hope it's a super bitch for them.

Meanwhile I'm going to bed because this day sucks. I have a feeling Wednesday will break me down into tears again.

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