April 15th, 2011 - Pathology Results

All I want to do today is sleep, and that's mostly all I've done. I was woken up this morning by the dr's office on the phone with my pathology results. It wasn't the surgeon, it was someone from her office, a nurse maybe? Anyways, she said the excision and all the tissue they took from my chest around the initial mole site was clear, no cancer. Yay! But the lymph node they took from under my arm? Yep, cancerous. Crap. Well my surgeon told my parents (while I was still out in the OR) that she could tell one lymph node was cancerous because it was darker than the others, so it really isn't a huge suprise to find out it IS cancer. But the lady on the phone said I could talk more with Dr. Shaw next Wednesday when I see her, but that she's gonna want to do more surgery and take out more lymph nodes.

More.Surgery.

::sigh::

I think the odds just went up that I'll have to have some kind of chemo or radiation. I'll find out about that on Wednesday too when I meet with my oncologist.

This all started a month ago yesterday. Hard to believe. And all because of a stupid mole.

I'm not scared of doing radiation therapy or some other kind. I'm scared that if (when) they do more surgery they might find cancer in my other lymph nodes. Yes, I think that will scare the shit out of me if that happens.

Meanwhile...I've only been home a few days, and now I'm facing another surgery. Mom has already said if that's true, my ass will be back over at her house so she can take care of me afterwards...LOL.

I've gotten such comments of love and support. It humbles me, and touches me.... and makes me want to fight. And fight I shall.

Love.